Growing...
So it's Monday, January 24th 2006, and I'm sitting in the conference room watching the parking lot get plowed. Thank the Lord for another day. My office is getting remodeled today, new wallpaper, paint, desk...you name it. This is by far the best job I've ever had.
The Lord is so wonderful, sometimes I find myself wiping away tears from my face, during the middle of the day, because of his wonderful mercy and grace. Yesterday my parents went to church with me, after we spent the day at my Grandmothers house. It was the perfect service, Pastor Dan Bargoyne spoke on marriage, and how to treat your spouse with the love and respect they deserve. What a time for them to come! This is the best church I have ever been to. I find myself wanting to be there every single day, trying to find ways that I can get involved, to be around other Christians, ALL the time. Then the Devil seems to find a way for me to absolutely forget about what's going on at 707 (the name of my church).
I'm struggling today, as I do everyday. I find myself constantly looking at my cell phone to see if my ex boyfriend has sent me a text message, a phone call, a "thinking of you" text. I love that man with all of my heart and soul. It's a different kind of love, the kind of love that a mother would have for her child I suppose, or a small little sliver of the kind of love that God has for us. Sometimes I find him doing things that I'm not so happy about, saying things to really upset me, believing lies and making up these crazy ideas is his head about me, all the while, I still love him unconditionally. I love to hear him laugh, he has a heart that is the size of this world, (when he opens it up), I want so badly to show him the kind of love that God has promised his children. No matter what he does or says or thinks about me, I want him to know that I love him unconditionally, and that I will forgive him for the things he's done/said/etc. Pastor Dan said last night that we are to ALWAYS forgive, and ALWAYS forget. WE are the sinners, HE died for us so that our sins could be forgiven. Be an example of the love Jesus shed for us. The one wish that I have in this lifetime is for him to just see how great Gods love is for us, even if it means I'm the example. I'm hoping that by posting my thoughts, ideas and prayers, that I will have a greater understanding of myself, and how I think, and how my thinking affects other people.
Today is also the first day of my "better eating" plan. I don't know if I'd actually call it the "first day"...I've actually been trying for a little over a week now, but today I'm being stern, and watching closely. I've had fruity protein drinks, apples, oatmeal, cheese, and trying to drink a lot of fluids. I want to lose weight, I want to feel great, and I can do this, because I'm worth it. Then again, it's only 3:21 pm, hopefully I don't backslide from this. It's been a struggle all my life. Well, time for a smoke break...(hopefully this addiction too shall pass).
The Lord is so wonderful, sometimes I find myself wiping away tears from my face, during the middle of the day, because of his wonderful mercy and grace. Yesterday my parents went to church with me, after we spent the day at my Grandmothers house. It was the perfect service, Pastor Dan Bargoyne spoke on marriage, and how to treat your spouse with the love and respect they deserve. What a time for them to come! This is the best church I have ever been to. I find myself wanting to be there every single day, trying to find ways that I can get involved, to be around other Christians, ALL the time. Then the Devil seems to find a way for me to absolutely forget about what's going on at 707 (the name of my church).
I'm struggling today, as I do everyday. I find myself constantly looking at my cell phone to see if my ex boyfriend has sent me a text message, a phone call, a "thinking of you" text. I love that man with all of my heart and soul. It's a different kind of love, the kind of love that a mother would have for her child I suppose, or a small little sliver of the kind of love that God has for us. Sometimes I find him doing things that I'm not so happy about, saying things to really upset me, believing lies and making up these crazy ideas is his head about me, all the while, I still love him unconditionally. I love to hear him laugh, he has a heart that is the size of this world, (when he opens it up), I want so badly to show him the kind of love that God has promised his children. No matter what he does or says or thinks about me, I want him to know that I love him unconditionally, and that I will forgive him for the things he's done/said/etc. Pastor Dan said last night that we are to ALWAYS forgive, and ALWAYS forget. WE are the sinners, HE died for us so that our sins could be forgiven. Be an example of the love Jesus shed for us. The one wish that I have in this lifetime is for him to just see how great Gods love is for us, even if it means I'm the example. I'm hoping that by posting my thoughts, ideas and prayers, that I will have a greater understanding of myself, and how I think, and how my thinking affects other people.
Today is also the first day of my "better eating" plan. I don't know if I'd actually call it the "first day"...I've actually been trying for a little over a week now, but today I'm being stern, and watching closely. I've had fruity protein drinks, apples, oatmeal, cheese, and trying to drink a lot of fluids. I want to lose weight, I want to feel great, and I can do this, because I'm worth it. Then again, it's only 3:21 pm, hopefully I don't backslide from this. It's been a struggle all my life. Well, time for a smoke break...(hopefully this addiction too shall pass).
posted by Michaela Rain @ 11:55 AM
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